- A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism how to#
- A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism professional#
So if you’re listening to this thinking, you’re not a perfectionist, but you’re a grade A procrastinator, I’m sorry to inform you that your procrastination probably has its roots in perfectionism somewhere. And RIP to all the hobbies that I tried to turn into businesses because I thought if I was good at or enjoyed something I should try to turn it into something “useful”.Īnd perfectionism is often linked to procrastination.
A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism how to#
If I wasn’t perfect at something, I stopped doing it or if I didn’t think I’d be perfect at it, I wouldn’t even try.Īpologies to my aunt who spent one exhausting afternoon trying to teach my anxious, perfectionist self how to watercolor. It was exceedingly rare that I ever did something just because I enjoyed it. If I was good at something, I had to maximize that skill to make the most of it for college applications. Which isn’t the least bit surprising considering how much emphasis and pressure we put on kids in school to excel at literally everything. Click To TweetĪ lot of perfectionists are also highly intelligent high achievers. Because there’s a big difference between wanting to do your best work and then believing everything has to be absolutely perfect or you’re a huge failure. Perfectionists believe that if they DON’T turn out something that is perfect in every way it says something about who they are as a person. Perfectionists don’t want to just turn out a product that is the best that it can possibly be. Some people claim that perfectionism has its good side but I would disagree. I had to figure out where it came from, how it was showing up in my life, and what the fuck to do about it. Save for client work or the content I have to finish so that my VA can work her magic (like this podcast), if I don’t have someone on the other end waiting for me to finish the thing and give it to them, then my perfectionism can often mean that it never gets done.Īnd once I finally realized this was a pattern for me, I had to sit down and examine it. Working for myself, the only person waiting for me to finish a task or project is pretty much just me. Because perfectionism is rooted in anxiety and anxiety is rooted in fear. Even if I had to pull an all-nighter or obsess over the tiniest of details, it got done because it had to get done.
A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism professional#
In my professional life, perfectionism rarely got a chance to completely paralyze me like it does now because there was always someone on the other end waiting for whatever the finished product was. It wasn’t until I started my own business that perfectionism really started to drag me down and seem like not such a great thing after all. It felt good to get that validation in the form of verbal praise or good grades or recognition for achievement. When I was a student and then a teacher, I liked getting praise from my teachers and professors and bosses. I mean, isn’t that what society tells us to be?
I thought wanting to do everything perfectly and have everyone be proud of me meant I was a go-getter, driven, motivated to be the best. It honestly would not surprise me if my mom told me that I popped out of the womb disappointed in myself that I couldn’t immediately speak or walk.Īnd for a really long time, I thought that this was a GOOD quality. Hello, hello! I have been a Type A, overachieving, perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Listen to the podcast here: Perfectionism Is Fear Three ways to break the cycle of perfectionism.
Is procrastination a form of perfectionism?.Why perfectionism doesn’t have a “good side”.Today I’m talking about how perfectionism is really fear in disguise, how it’s keeping us from truly showing up in the world, and how we can rewire our brains to ditch perfectionism and show up just as we are. Perfectionism is a badge of honor that too many of us wear for too long.
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